Diary of an Empowered Vixen

Moving

2006-08-20T01:15:00.000-04:00

Like bi blogger its been fun but I am going home to www.sallyglass.com

i am bi

mall

2006-08-17T15:16:00.000-04:00

Mary alice like is thankfilly going to live like after they wiped the blood and mustard and feathirs off her she like only had a few scratchis and like so non of the puffins that attacked her at the zoo had to be put to sleep.

Like today me and mary aloice went to the mall to look for close for school which suckily starts in like a few weeks and they didt have much so we decided that we were going to go to the store that sells catolic grrrl school youniforms and like hack them up cause like thats what Courtney would do. so like we ran into this bitche from school we hate like Rachel and she started making fun of the fact that one of my legs is whiter than the other from that damn cast. like she should talk she tans so much she looks like a rotisiree chiken so Rachel was like, oh sally like nice leg I bet the corps misses it and I was like, oh Rachel nice tan I didn’t know you were a day laborer! she got pissed and like tried to attack me but I slapped her in the face with my saltid pretzel and me and mary alice took off running and laughing. Rachel is such a whore I am bi

xoxo

Sally Glass

jonebent

2006-08-16T19:12:00.000-04:00

oh god glob,

like i just saw on the news that they caught some fey ray who like clames he killed sassy jonbinay by accident which means my helmit head plastic face nemisiss nancy grace is going to be spun like a top by the end of the week.

like poor jonbenit they keep showing her on the news in all that old beuty pajint footage where she is dancing around to that van halen song about the teacher and like its so unimpowered to think that like some gay man killed her like i thought the fruitopians were on our side????!!!! i guess grrrlz arent safe from anyone anymore.

but back to stupid nancy grace. she is going to be angrier than tori spelling minus her inhgeritance! like not only does she get to talk about jonebintetstnjtet again for weeks at a time but she also gets to talk about bankock tyeland which is the kiddie porn capiltal of the world! and knowing nacny, i bet she'll even find a way to blame the whole thing on jacko while making an exampile out of elizaibth smart.

if there was such a thing as justice someone would tie up nancy grace drag her out to the woods where the only sound she could experience was that horrible voice she hass! but the poor woodland animals would have to put up with her like i can here her now...'those poor, poor, animals....victimized by the changing of the seesons, how unjust it is...for those tiny, tiny chipmunks to have to hide in a hole for 6 months to escape the wrath of muther nachire...' shut up already nancy!

like poor patsy ramsey probably threw in the towil because she couldnt stand peeople like nancy grace making a carreer out of her dread daughtir and othir victomized people.

i am bi sally glass

pale

2006-08-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

Hi blig,

After being atackid by the puffins at the zoo I think Mary Alice is going to live after all. Like she was depresid because she gained wait after 3 weeks on the Kristie Aley diet and was looking more like a before than an after so her parents took her to the zoo to cheer her up. She was trying to feed her hotdog bun to the puffins and like she got too close and fell into there pen and like they swarmed her for the roll and by the time the xoo keeper got her out she was covered in mustard and feathers and blood. I mean like I couldint make this shit up if I tried.

Like I was going to say yesterday I finilly got the cast takin off my gimpy leg and like now my fixed leg is whiter than the other and like I didn’t think that was possible because I don’t go in the sun because the sun is mother nachirs death ray! So I think I have to cvs reade and get some tan in a tube and put it on my new leg and wash it off quick and see what happins either that or wear cordiroys for the rest of the summer I am bi.

xxx

Sally glass

puffins

2006-08-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

like bllog,

i was going to spenmd my day righting about how sassy it is to finally have my plaster peg leg removed but like i have to go to the hospictiple to see mary alice cause she went to the zoo today and was vishisly attackid by puffins. what the f?

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

bee

2006-08-13T17:29:00.000-04:00

like hi bloo,

have you noticed that like the nasonex bee went from speaking french to speeking spanish? like im am so confused who tot him to speek in the first place? i am bi

xxx

sally glass

cross

2006-08-10T22:58:00.000-04:00

like FYI blog

since i am FYNALLY geting my cast taken off tomorow i drew this sassy photo renactmint of my esther disco cross that i made you know the one i fell off of and startid all this brokin leg businis.

of cours i am not as empowred as esther because the stupid pope hasnt kicked me out of catholosissm yet and like i dont know why, like im 15 im pregnint i smoke and i have been on a meth diet to lose weight like what else do i need to do??? obveeously finagling liitle boys doesnt get you kicked out of church like they give promotions for that! so like im clueless...maybee i need stigmata...i am bi

xxx

sally glass

myspoace

2006-08-10T16:49:00.000-04:00

deear diargy,

some lame rigot grrrl just sent me a nasty myspcace mail saying that just because im pregnint doesnt make me a feminist...like what the f does that meen??? so i called her fat.

so like after that nonsince i started seeing these grosse ads on myspace and like i guess if you say your bi in your profile myspace must think that all you want to see is sex ads and like these. i think they are so gross.

like isnt he a little to young to be dating??? are like nambla and alamo in cahoots or something eeew

and like this!

lesbeein peeps? is this what bi grrrlz have been reduced too?

it's no wondir that so many sex fiend killers are stalking grrrlz on myspace i mean look at the ads they have the promote pedofeelia and beastyality! womern and sheep are never safe from the patricle dominaited society!

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

crontey

2006-08-10T11:56:00.000-04:00

like hi blg,

like i found the sassyest video of Courtyn today on boobtube like its from 2004 when she was at her peek of sassyness and she is singing my fav sone 'but julian im a little bit older than you'

and like she has the best job in the whole world! i meen to be a singer that doesnt sing like she just gasps for air inbetween halls off her cigarete and lines of coke and she doesnt even bother playing guitar anymore and she gets to be skinny all the time like thats awesome ia mn bi.

watch crotney:

xxx

sally glass

qvc

2006-08-09T16:05:00.000-04:00

deer blogg

im realy bored today and found myself waching about 2 hours of tonee poneeys and wigs on qvc and thank god they started hawking beyuty creems becuases i almost bough myself about 10 pounds of fake hair.

so like i desided to fuck with the operatirs and like so i kept telling them i wanted the face cream that was made from stem sells and they hung up on me. i had even less luck when i askid for the 'sweetnights semen cream' for your face. the lady was like what! and i said, you know, its like a fashil...but a fashil. my humor was lost on her i am bi.

xxx

sally glass

brintney

2006-08-09T09:25:00.000-04:00

like blog

what the fuck is up with brintye speers? i found this videeo of her on boob tube and shes abveeously bombed and like she keeps burping and wants to time travel. see, thats like what happens when you hang out with esther like i think she rapped too much of that kabala red string around britneys neck and cut of circilition! so sad i am bi

xxx

sally glass

view

2006-08-06T11:51:00.000-04:00

hi blogdiery,

after waching the view i desided that the best thing for me to do was to chew the cast off my leg and try to escape netwirk telivisojn in particular morning telivison. like barbira walters started talking about the fantasticle fetus and plan b pills and got one of the other chickens on her show upset. the other chicken launched into a pro fetus rant (aparentuly she has never sat next to a kid in a restiraunt) and BW nearly had to bitch slap her in front of lisa lobes.

i am bi xxx sally glass

tapewirm

2006-08-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

like hi blog

so like i knowe you have been wondring like wheres sally been well i like got my computir taking away because my mom cauhgt me buying tapewurms online. like i know, why would someone as sassy as sally need to buy tape wirms online you ask.

since i broke my leg and have been forcied to do nothing but lie in bed and watch that angry boney transexuil jancee dickins model agincy show like i have been geting fat so i tried not eating but that didnt work so i went online to get some fen pen or efidrine but then i found a sassy site where you could by tapewurm pills and they eat you from the inside out and you lose wait! thats the most empowerid thing i have hurd of since paris helton stopid speeking to the press!

like my mom came home and went to get the mail and like when she pulled her hand out of the mil box she was covered with tape werms cause i geuss they escaped their pill to eerly or something so she took away my laptop, my treo and anything that gave off an electrigal signil so i couldnt comunicate with the outsde world which is fine cause the world is about to come to end end anyway from what sexy andison coper sayss on cnn even thouh hes old.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

grace

2006-07-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

like der blog,

like why didnt i think of this before !when my leg is al better i need to get kidnapped so i can go on nacy graces sshow so i can fuck with her like elizabeth smart! like i read online that exliabith got kidnapped on porpus so she could go on nancys show and throw her shade like how empowered! i am bi so wache:

xxx sally glass

hot

2006-06-21T08:01:00.000-04:00

hi bloggg,

so like i found some old pain pills my doctir gave me stashed away in my hello kitty perse so i took a bunch yestirday afternoon and slept until like 5 this morning and like i feel relly good now!

like i finally got a chanse to watch the new epasodes of the simple life that i have been teevohohing and like this new seesin totally sucks. like i guess paris and nicole arent friends anymore because paris is a cokewhore and like nicole has had some ireversable stomach stapling surjiry so nicole cant gain weight and has to work at a nutrishinist so like she cant party with paris so paris dumped her. just as well beecause all paris does is get drunk with her boyfriend who looks like a bloated floating corpse and they call linsee lohan 'fire crotch' on TV...nicol...your not missing much.

so since the bitches arent friends they have to film all their scenes sepritely and like it s not as funny plus the whole thing has become a formyula like you know paris is going to look bored and like nicole blurts out something about handjobs and tinkerboots ran away i think...lucky her.

so now i need a new fav show to watch. i try to wach cnn sometimes so i can know what shit is going down around the world but the news people are all so fat and ugly.

i ma bi

xxx sally glass

pirljam

2006-06-19T01:20:00.000-04:00

der blog,

like i just saw a comershil with eddie vedder i think he was promoting his new keewee album and like he was inna resteront and he was ordering a roasst duck with mango salsa but like most SNL skits, i dont get the joke

iam bi

xxx sally glass

toxic

2006-06-17T00:43:00.000-04:00

hi thre blog,

like i was watching empowered brittney speers last night on tv being intervieewed by that balding good morning man and like she is the new crotney love like she is puffy, has bad bleached hair, chunks of mascarra falling off her eyes, crys a lot on tv, weers babydoll dreses and takes horrible care of her baby. how sassy!

its too bad she like keeps getting knockd up by that highschool janiter.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

AFI

2006-06-09T18:12:00.000-04:00

like hii there blog

so blog i dont know if you noticed but there is a weird alt rock industrial movememnt going on that is totally run by young fruity liza lovin queens and its called A Fruity Insurgense or AFI for short. like mary alice brought me some magazeenes today that she stole from barns and nobils these music magazines are full of them!

like the cult of AFI was started by head spookstress called Davey hAvok and like he is the king/queen bee and you can tell cause he looks like liza mineli. he has an interveew in roling stone and he says he never drinks. maybe not alchohol but the bitch is swiggin something hes like super haggard for "30" (sarchasim requires punctuashin). so king/queen bee has a head like prisila queen of the desert and a bloated gas station attandent type body with lots of bad tattoos. then i realised its all making sense!

good charlet! the inseschoous benji and... the other one... who are always making faces like they just shit their dypers, THEY have prisilla head too, AND they have LOTS of bad tatoos AND they dress like 16 yearolds even though they are "30" too!

then there is the roatating bunch of fruits known as marilyn manson and aparently marilyns house is the house for waywird musicians cause every new video there like new band members and they are all part of the AFI cult too! prisilla head, bloated bodies and bad tattoos...and there "30"!!!

exibit A: king/queen Liza aka Davey hAvok

exbet B: insestuos drone benji madden

like all of these guys are so in the closit and you KNOW they really want to sing i am what i am but like their drinking buddies would kick their ass so they are like, ok, how can i be true to myself and NOT get an ass kicking oh ill wear makeup but only black makeup and like start a cult where jesus and mary are elton and liza and i can recrute other fruits into the cult by way of bad tattoos and non age appropreeate fashin until the day comes where we have enuff members we can all come out of the AFI closet at once and give middle america a colective heart atack!

nevermind all this 666 business the mark of the beast is 30!

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

jeenyus

2006-06-08T20:33:00.000-04:00

like hi ther deer blig,

like i got the sassiest complimint from one of my lame teachirs today like mary alice was picking up my stupid at home work and like when she got to the hall she dropid everything cause she thought she saw a french fry and like she overherd the teacher say to the otherone that 'sally glass is a jeanyus trapd in an idyots body' like how empowered!

so like my lame homework is about the revolushonary war and like that sucks who cares so i am going to make up my own empowered version and show them just what a idyot i am i am bi

xxx

sally glass

voge

2006-06-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

hiblog,

like so i desidid that like im am gong to spend the daytoday downlodeing music online and like befour you like get on your hi horss about how its bad and you arre stealing money from the artists let me say like that like the its the record compinys fault because they have comodifyed music so much by making it esily availabile on your cell phone, your plam plot, your mp3 player, your microwave that people dont apreciate the value anymore its like what does sally want for lunch, hmm a veggie burger oh and give me some gwen stefanni with my order, i mean missing persons, i mean i cant tell them apart like the name brand kechip and the store brand ketchip. it's all sodium anyway.

so like i just donsloded esther's Immaculit Box because its so retro and like i just realised i was a fetus when it came out but like its sassy even if it is so old and like the sassiest song on the is Voge and esther is like it doesn't matter if youre a sassy tranny hooker or a jersey girl because on the dancefloor you can be both, like mariah carey.

striking resemblance!
i love esther even if it is her fault for giving me the idea for a sassy disko cross which made me brake my leg but i look on the brite side like think of all the free time i have now to open up to you deer blog like you are going to love me so much by the time i am heeled that you will be bi too!

xxx i am bi
sally glass

pionneres

2006-06-04T13:15:00.000-04:00

dear driarty,

like i just saw the new video by dixie chocks and its sassy cause its made by the same lady who made cRotney's miss world video and like they are sassy cause they told the lame presdent to basicly fuck off and they got shit for it but like that was forever ago in 2003 or someting and like it wasnt cool to bash the predient then like even esther censored her american life video so she wouldnt get dixie chocked and like her album stunk anyway

like now everyoneandtheirmotherr bashes bush so like the dickie chocks are like pionerrs and like i think they should be riggot grrrls and i bet they are bi i am bi

xxx sally glass

applefrydays

2006-06-03T15:25:00.000-04:00

like hi de blog,

liike more pain meds and more tv

and like i just saw the grossest commeshill for apple fridays that lame chane restrint and like these dorks are singing mack the knife while showing extremee close ups of cuts of beef and chickin... now am like i the onlyone who thinks that a song about prostitoots being hacked up should not be sung with rare meat visuils???

whats wrong with poeple?

xxxiambi
sally glasss

fruuts

2006-06-03T14:52:00.000-04:00

deer bloog,

like tv isnt much better on the weekends like i was just waching this queer eye for strate guys and like what a lame show like who finds them cool anyway, old womin? theyre such dorks.

like their message is that good fruits make strate people look good make strate people have good conversaions make strate people have nice homes so they can get married and have nice strate lives blah blah blah but at the end of the day strate people dont want the frutes getting married or having the nice lives they give others. excuse you rude!

on the other hand these queer eyes are toalily selling out gay people. like they have done to gay people what like pariss and nicole have done to young women.

xxx

sally glass

iam bi

god

2006-06-02T19:26:00.000-04:00

oh like full time hater of all pat roberstson just had his jet crash. guess god hates him too i am bi

sally glass

lesbeins!

2006-06-02T17:06:00.000-04:00

like dear bloog i love pain medickashin

like tv is really weird like i have not watched it in so long because up until i broke this stupid leg i had a sassy life like there is so much crap on tv like dont even tell me that juge joe brown and the poples court jug are real juges oh and someone needs to tell her shes a 50 year old white woman and to stop swiveling her neck and over using the wrd sister like shes a fuckng footlocker employe.

but i did see this sassy show on empty vee abut this lesbien couple one is ashely a failed folk singer and she married her girlfriend and live in a mobile home with their mother and its very emporwded to have a grrrl show like that on tv. i am bi

sally

beasats

2006-06-02T14:09:00.000-04:00

like dera blog,

like i was watching the view beofre and i dont know how anyone can sit and watch those henny pennys cluck for an hour, ouch. the only reasson i wachd was jeff corwin the frisky beast handler was on and he had all these cute animils with him and like merideath veeaira and joy bayhart were talking to them and joy bayhart is a trainwreck shes like every jewish sterotype rolled into one then exagerated on live tv. like she was afriad of every animnl jeff brought out like why be on the air if all you are going to contibute is "ewww"...

at least star jones wasnt there shed probably slit the little critters stomach and try them on and start name dropping zoos for free animals she such a booger. i am bi

xxx sally glass

kidneys

2006-06-02T00:20:00.000-04:00

ok so like i must be in a transe or something cause i just got done watching some anderson cooper story on cnn about like girls in the south donating threre kidenys so they would be taken searously in beuty pajints and like they were called the 'kidney qeens' like what the fuck is like the south coming too dont they have enuff to worry about with this coming hurikane season that will kill everyone below the masin dixkin? i am bi

xx

sally glass

like blog i have to go to bed cause i cant deal with thi shit anymore

moviees

2006-06-01T19:16:00.000-04:00

like dirie

thank god i hav a brokin leg cause if i could walk id thrown myself out the window by now like mary aloice meens well but shes like so hopeless

so like since i am in bed for the rest of mylife cause i fell off the esther disko cross i told her to like get me some movies from bloackbeast so i could have some sassy features to watch during the day when i am all alone so like she runs intoday and drops the bag of movies on the floor and takes off cause she had to pace the block again for her new diet so like my pagan mother gives me the bag and i start going throew it...patch adams, ghost dad, feeld of dreems, steel bagonians..what the fuck? like i cant watch this shit. i think i need to start a new blog about the many reasons robert williams should be drawn and qwartered i cant stand him. uuugh

so like i think the smart thing to do will be to go on netflix and pick my own damn movies...like i dont have enough to do already like my mom keeps making me eat like 4 times a day and i am going to get fat if i keep that shit up so i have develiped good aim pitching the shit out the window...thank god the landscraper speeka no english i am bi

xxx sally glass

disko

2006-05-25T23:02:00.000-04:00

dear diarey blog

like i am in so much pane and it is all of esthers fault for hanging herslef on the disko cross!

like me and mary aloice were wraping up our sassy version of esthers sex bokk and we just finished this deth defying stunt where i threw myself out of a moving car and i was impowered because no man made me jump, i threw myself out of tht car on my own terms and thtas what feminisimn is all about and like we saw ESther on the news hanging from a glitter cross and like we thought that would make a sassy cover photo for our zine so like we bot some cheep full lenght mirrors from the wall mart and glued them toghether like a cross and mary alice tied me to it and we were trying to hang me from a tree but like the rope broke and i hit the ground and now my leg is brokin and it so sucks!

so i am stuck in bed like for threem onths or something which sucks but at least i have my laptopso i can wright ester and tell her how empowdired i am

xxx

sally glass

gasp!

2006-04-26T23:53:00.000-04:00

LIKE DEAR BLOGG!

now i know what its like to be katee homes carying around a prostetic stmoick for months and finally being able to take it off! omg!

my evil madre final gave me back my computer privelajis because i have not been fucking with her, her clients and my scholl gave me plus points for NOT throwing matches at the slow girl in detenshin

so like i am working on tow projekts right now one of whic is my pree menchined BAD SEAD remake and the other is my making my own undergound fanzine based on esters SEX book the trouble is that i cant find anyone my age to pose nakid walking down the highway so i am leading tords the BAD SEEDS remake.

like i have been orking onn the script and more importantly i have some swingin pigtales

im sending a letir to dady

will right more tomorro so glad to be back i am bi

xxx

sally glass

seed

2006-03-20T16:51:00.000-05:00

HI BLIG!!!

like i missed you so much. i have not riten you since my oscir party because my mom will not me neer any electronic devisis since i prank called tranny nancy grace. but haha i am borrrowing a cell phone from some bi boy at school so now i can slowly peck my posts to you which is torchious at least i can kep you posted of my shaniningans.

i got so inspired by my school production of THE PASHION OF THE SCHIAVO that i decided i am going become a diggitible filmaker and remake all of my favorite movies so like i decided that I would star in my own remake of THE BAD SEED and i will be playing rhoda and she is bi and like she is so impowered because she kills kids and sets pervy men on fire who sleep on excelsee-er not to menchin she has got those swingin pigtails!

so like mary alice to going to be the camera grrrl and like i am working on the script now and it is going to be so empowered i am bi.

xxx sally glass

oscirs

2006-03-06T17:42:00.000-05:00

hi logg,

so like me and mary alice had an oSscar party last night and it sucked because the osscrs sucked even though they had jon stewirt hosting and we think he is bi too becaus e he is too smart and too funny to be just straight. everyone knows theres no such thing.

so like the dresses sucked though Donna Teller Versachee did a great job at warping Slema Hayakcs giant boob oh and what was up with Charline Heron? Is she taking over Sharin Stones roll in Casino 2? Who wears 70s gangster moll hair dos anymore??? And what purpose did that huge lame bow serve and like she kept TALKING to it all night long! weirdo.

so like the presenters totallt sucked with the exception of Courtney Love's drunken schpeel until we realized that Crotney was really Lauren Bacall but she was sassy anyway cause she is 110 and STILL rockin the Goose. we will have to add her to our Bitches That Rock list even though she doesnt have a punk band but she should!

so we were SUPER pissed that baReback Mountain did not win best picture but stupid hatefest Crash did. And like everyone knows the only reason it won was because Doprah had the whole cast on her show for an hour long ass kiss fest and she kissed their asses so hard she ended up rimming them. hate her. if her ego gets anymore inflated shees soing to start looking like a fucking bobbil head doll.

we need to find a cool awards show to watch, something with stripers, sassy music and the REAL Crotney Love!

i am bi

xxx sally glass

krumping

2006-03-03T23:41:00.000-05:00

like hi dear blog,

i am finally back online like my mom took away my heloo kitty laptop because of my nancsee grace stunt so like i finally bought a new one but she wont get the bill till next moth so here we go.

so like after i called nace grace and told her i was in a sex cult they like traced the call back to my moms friends fone and my mom who is real good at putting together 1 + 1 figured it ws me and turned me into the cops. they were rough with me even thought my mom is a fake celeb and tried to pull that whole scared straight crap with me but i just kept doing my courtney love routine and rolled my eyes, smoked an aspirin, took a nap, read entertianmint weekly and hissed at the other cops and asked them if kate Moss was around because I was start to jonze. none of this they found funny in fact i annoyed them so much they called my mom and told them to come collect me so i am home again.

so on top of all this mary aloce came over to cheer me up and we watched this david la chaiple flik she got from netfix called RIZE which is all about this sassy new breakdancicing jive dance yo called krumping so like me and mary alice decided we would KRUmp like Esther's new video SORRY and like unfortunliy i clocked mary Alice in the mouth with my shoe and her mouth startid filling up with blood and she lost a tooth.

no more krumpers jumping on the bed!

i am bi

xxx sally glass

dont bee fooled by the rock that i got!

sshhh

2006-02-25T10:26:00.000-05:00

like hi dear diare,

like i am sorry i have not been able to right all lasst week i got in so much trouble for pretending to be held captive as a sex slave. my mom took away my black bery and my helo kittty laptop so i coulnt wite anything at all.

i just boosted a new one form cirkit city so i will be writing more soon i am bi

xxx sally glass

NANCY!

2006-02-17T20:52:00.000-05:00

like hi bloggir

so like we had an interesting day today that envolved our punk band, a sex dungin and my nemisiss nancey grace the drag queene on court tv.

so like since my mom aparintly hates creeativitee of any kind she hates music so much that i am not alowid to practice my band Dolls vOmit in the house anymore so me and marty Aloice took our guitars over to her house since she only lives with her funny uncle and hes nevir there anyway.

so like we are in the basement walking through the maze past the room where we had our sassy meth lab and like we were opening doors to find a practice room. the lassst time we were down there we found a room with weerd boy scout manikins so we didnt go into that room again. so like we opened the last door in the hall and there was this cage in there with a plastic lining and like we dont know why cause theres no dogs in the house and we started hearing thuping coming from somewhere so we figured mary alices uncle must be playing sex games down there so its probibly not the best place to practice an empowered grrrl puink band...or maybe it is who knos.

anyway the place smelled so we left our eqipmints in her bedroom and went back to my house and my mother had company over so llike we snuck into the coat room and took everyones blackbertyys out of their purses and sinked them to our computers and like now we have all of these nubers from people in the entertinmint business in new york INCLUDING the transexual host nancy Grace, my neimsiss.!

so like we stole a pone from my moms friends purse and called nancey and she answered and i was like NANCY GRACE!!! and she was Who is this??? I said I JUST FOUND AN UNDERAGE SEX DEN IN MY BESTFRIENDS HOUSE WHAT SHOULD I DO??? and she says whoo is this and where are you calling from and i said I CANT TALK ANYMORE THEY ARE COMING! and hung up. like we plan on doing this all night long and putting the phone back in my moms friends purse so they can tracce the call.

tell me i cant practice my music and wagins will be fixed! i am bi

xxx sally glass

islamabad

2006-02-14T17:40:00.000-05:00

like blog,

ester is right, time does go by so slowly. i have not written you in a few days so hold my hand heer we go!

SO my family took us to a weekend trip to new york because the SUV needid to be surre the polar caps melt ahead of skedule and plus my mom was invited to see a sneak peek at barefoot in the park with amanda peet. OMG i wish i was deaf! she didnt act he just screeched her lines like she was the barking lunch lady in school...MORE SLAW!

new york sucked ecksept for the fact that paris hilton called me 'retarded' in the elevatir of the W hotel, it like about time they had an all womin hotel.

so like in lame school today were all about tropical events and our fruity art teacher asked us to pick a soshil problem and find a solushion. so the obvious choice would be to like get those irakee woemen out of the jacko custumes and into somethigna little more romy and michellee but they were too busy burnig the fabric in pakistan so instead i drew this sassy picture of me solving the worlds isues i am like angilina jolee and she is bi too!

like oh canidah!

voids

2006-02-10T12:47:00.000-05:00

Fetus Fairy - Gathering The Voids

alive

2006-02-09T16:56:00.000-05:00

Fetus Fairy - Onlt One Gets Out Alive

3rdbase

2006-02-08T15:27:00.000-05:00

Fetus Fairy - 3rd Base

acilades

2006-02-08T11:31:00.000-05:00

like dear bog,

i have to tell you home my sassy play The Pashion of The Schiavo went yestirday! so like as you can imagine all the teachers were shocked to see what i was doing becuause like for to weeks i was rehersing a pretend play about me being a friad of the wrapper snapper on the ice cream truck.

so like as plannid i made my entrince as the vrijin mary on a cloud that floated down from the sky except unplanned i slipped and fell off my cload and hit the stage like a truck but like i got up and pretendid that nothing hapined. so the hospital bed with terry mary alie gets weeled out and mary aloice did such a good job drueling on cue. i pranced around her telling her about me and jesus and heaven and all that business and that she was invited to join us. but she couldnt because her cruil family handcuffed her to the bed and so the husband had to cut her free and sassy terry mary aloice floted up to heaven with us the end.

so like eviryone claped cause they liked the play but the teacher s were ssuper pissed at me cause i didnt do the wrapper snapper and so i have to have yet another meeting with them and my pagan mother tomorrow and its not fair cause the dramam class was their idea i am bi

xxx sally G.

resurection

2006-02-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

hi like dear blog,

so like i think i am like threw with my meth diet for now cause i was on the scale a litle while a go in the nurses office and she said that like a girl my age who is 5 fot 6 inchis tall should weight a lot more than 103 punds...i said yah if shes fat!

so like tomorrow is the big day where i get to put on my one grrrl show for dramam class called the passhin of the schiavo like since nobody would belive that sassy me coold really be terry schivo i got mary alice to play her since they have a lot of the same fashil exprssions anyways.

so like i get to play the empowered virgin mary and i fall down from a cloud and have a chat with terry mary alice and tell her its ok if she wants to hang out with me and jesus in heaven even though her family wants to hold her lifeless, useless, broken body hostage down there on that smelly old hospital bed even despite the fact that they bring her a shiney balloon once in a while.

but like terry mary alice is powerles over the tubes and like to make matters worse her parents like handcuffed her to the hospital bed like courtney love on her birthday. so like i have to send down an angel in the form of terri marry alices husband and he takes over as the voice of reason on eerth. so while the parents are out buying terry mary alice a new lite brite, the husbaind pulls out giant sheers from behind his angel wings, cuts the feeding tube, picks the lock on the handcuffs and swoops off to heaven with terri mary alice where she regains her sassy 20 year old body. we like end sceen with terry mary alice, angle husband, and me as the sassy vigin mary all having a cosmo on a cloud.

now if thats not empowered i dont know what is! i am bi

xxx sally glass

pieces

2006-02-07T10:14:00.000-05:00

Fetus Fairy - like pick up the pieaces and go home

collection

2006-02-06T16:56:00.000-05:00

like high blog,

ugh mondiy need i say anymore, like no.
so i was reading onlune that frebruary is national fetus month so i decided i was like going to draw me and the sassy fetus fairy for you each day this week.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

Fetus Fairy - Colection Plate

sass

2006-02-04T23:14:00.000-05:00

like hi blog,

here is the piccure i drew of me and mary alice, how sassy!

i am bi
xxx sally glass

rapsidy

2006-02-04T17:55:00.000-05:00

like dear bog,

i am so sicked like i got on the sckale today and i have lost 4 pounds in two days on my meth diet. how empowerid!

mary alice had to help her uncle move heavy suitcases out of his basement today so like i stayed home.

i wanted to here sassy courtiney so like i signed ontoo rapesody to listen to the best hole albmu america's sweetheart and like for some reason they made a new version of sunset strip. like why would a recird compayny redo a 2 year old song from an albim that sold a little over 100,000 copies? i mean they wouldnt do that to poor sad dead kurt with no head!

i am bi

xxx sally glass

email

2006-02-03T14:16:00.000-05:00

by the way blog,

like i am so pissed cause like i went to gmail and i was going to get a new sassy email which wass going to be sallyglass@gmail.com but like some other sally gllass aleady toke it. what the f? i sent her an email telling her how disimpodered she is for stealing my name. i am bi

xxx sally glass

bored

2006-02-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

like hi blog

i am still in school and like i am on my blick berry and like some girl told me that they are going out of busines soon because of a lawsuit and a computer chip. ive never heard those words before.

so like my diyet is going good like i lost 5 pounds this week from our meth deit mary alices uncle doesnt notice the smell in his basement like its a maze down there and we almost had a fire yesterday but i threw my diet doctir pepper on it before it got too big. so what was i going to tell you i cant remembir...

oh! i did some sassy drawing today in schol of me and mary alice so as soon as i get home today i will post them so you can see how sassy we really are i am bi

xxx sally glasss

simpson

2006-02-01T16:29:00.000-05:00

so blog,

like i know you are a smart blog so i dont have to tell you what a lame whore ashley simpson is right, no of course not. i mean is there anything good about a jessoca simpson hybrid?

like i was just watching TRL and like saw ashlee singing her love song and i swear i wanted to jump into the tv and attack her with my silver high heel shoe until all the blood flowed out of her talentless body. hate her. she has a new wig that looks like courtneys miss world wig and she thinks that just because she wears unlaced combat boots that she is punk? when does it stop. so like i went online to send her some hate email threw her web site and after checking out her site i have to say i hate her even more if thats posible heres like why

like oooh! ashlee simpson welcoms you to her web site. no, thats not an old beaten whore, thats really her. at first like i thought she was peeking threw a charred log but ssomeone must have told her how cool she looks modling methadone chic!

"like what up yall, dont i look like macualy culkin in drag?! the next time i am on SNL fucking up my own material that i wrote strait from the heart and cant remember the words like i'll call you on my phone and like you can text the lyrics to me!"

"like want to know what new with me? read the news section...well like nothing is new about me but my recrd company is using my web site to promote some other band that like i have absolutly nothing to with. im so cool it hurts!"

"zzzzzz...oh sorry, like i fell asleep giving you a tour of my web site, its like that exciting! so like i must have put out another album cuz here it is and like more importinitly check out my new look, i have this madona updo with courty love make up and an avril tie...i cant fukcin lose! i mean their all cool so i must be too right?"

"since like my music is so forgetable i have to get your attenshin somehow so i'll just die my hair a lot. ya! like so what if ill need a wig by the time im thirty."

"like ok all you silly bitchis in case you cant get enoug of me on trl you can downlod my body parts to yr online chat and hang my dumbass face on your wall, like perfect for projectile vomiting!"

so like i know what your thinking like sally that was the best tour ever. i know, i am bi

xxx sally glass

scouts

2006-01-30T15:55:00.000-05:00

deer diary,

so like after schol i snuck out of my house to go over to mary alioces to set the meth lab back up. like my espesoh diet works but like i cant fall asleep at night and my stomach feelslike i ate tacks and that sucks so back to meth!

so anyway off to mary alices to set up the lab and like we decided to keep it in one of the rooms in her cellar cause its like a maze down therre and nobody would be suspicious so we picked one of the rooms far away from her uncles trains. like hes really weird he has all these boy scout books down there, like an entire librery or something and then the weirdest thing was the room that had these small kid mainikins dressed like boy scouts but like they were tied up. i just closed the door and found anotherr room for the lab.

so like we are back in business well not really business caus the meth is just for our hollywood diet and the store finally got in more sudafed isle 3 so ill be super skinny again soon. i am bi

xxx sally glass

militant

2006-01-29T19:13:00.000-05:00

hi bllog,

so like as you can see i revamped you over the weekend with my sassy american life font and just to be clear the font is sassy, madonna isnt.

actuily madinna is kinda sassy cause she used to wear her undies on the outside of her clothes and like i dont know what else she did cause im only 15. but i do remember seeing something on mtv news about her abducting and old woman and running dumb boys over in her camaro and that is sassy. oh and then i saw her she was dressed like patty hearts and was whipping granaids at president blush. and i guess now shes hung up and dancing in diners in her leotards and high heels so i guess shes come full circle.

like madonna is: a) hung up b) regan doing the crab c) an odd lady
xxx sally glass i am bi

catholic

2006-01-27T20:43:00.000-05:00

like hi bog,

like i am sorry i havent writen you until now like i have been busy with stupid school...

so like the day after my stupid school meeting where they crucifyed me like i thought i would do the right thing and like turn over a leaf and all that business so like yesterday i went to schol in a catholic girl school uniform and for fuck sake they like sent me HOME! I was like you are kidding me right and they were like wrong cause they thought i was being 'sarcastic in my approach'. what the f?

so like back to school today dressed like my normil sassy self and they were even less impressed to see what i was doing in drama class for my 'the passion of the schivo' one woman play. so it wass a good idea to scrap my ann frank musical i guess.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

pashion

2006-01-25T11:27:00.000-05:00

like hi blog,

so like it looks like i have outdun my self this time. i was suspended again from shcool yesterday becaus of my sassy fetus perse and the facilty had a secret meeting about me and hauled me and my mother into school yesterday to "talk".

so like they said to my mom that i am "troubled" and that if i dont get my act together i will have to go to another school. my mom was like shocked and was like what did Sally do and they ran down the list:

smoking in the bathroom
fighting with other students
starting a fire in the copy room
stealing sciense equipmint to make a meth lab
telling everyone shes bi
dumping a pound of glitter into the forced air vent
faking orgasims in the library (whic was mary alice not me)
calling the gym teacher a fruit
calling the french teacher a freedom fighter
and like of course making a fetus into a purse

oh and they said i have to stop putting my leg up on my desk like courtiney. my mom wass like speachless and so now i am punished for indefinitly and like i have to come home right after scjol and that sucks. they told her that i had too much free time on my hands and like my odd behviour was most likely the sign of not having a creative outlet so i am now being forced to join the drama club at school.

i met some of the kids today and they seemed ok on the plus side alot of the boys are bi so they wont be messing with me so like our home work was to write a 10 minute long one person play and we have to perform it in 2 weeks. so my play is going to be called The Pashin of the Schiavo.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

recyle

2006-01-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

like what up blog,

so like in sciense class we have been discussing like how bad people are ruinging the earth because of global warning and stuff so our teacher gave us an assignment where we had to take some junk people normaily thrown out and recyle it into something useful.

so like for my project i took a fetus and like made it into a purse! like i thought i was going to get an a+ for it but the teaher started crying and i got sent home with a note tnat said i need to see a spechilist whatever at least i got to keep my sassy purse! i am bi

fashinably fetal!

xxx sally

poor

2006-01-22T23:12:00.000-05:00

like blog,

so i had a date for tonight with adam but like i canciled it cause mary alice told me that a janiter at school cought him suckin the snake of some guy in the gym...ugh fruits.

so like i was forcid to stay in and watch tv and like so did you see extreem home makeover? well its like this how where they take poor people who fucked up their lives with credit card det or have 80 kids and like they throw out their old home and give them a new one filed with laptops, iods and fancy flat tvs. so apprently there are no more poor people left in the country cause tonight the family they had on was some single guy who adopted his ded sisters kids and they had a weird shaped home.

and i know it sucks that she dies and all but like i kept thinking about the kids in like someplacelike harlem who are watching this show who have lost their mother, father and their relatives in some gang shooting and like their grandparents have aids and smoke crack, now THATS rought, living in a sorta ugly home doesnt really count as stuggling. this country is so spolied. i m going to call extreem homes tomorrow and tell them i am hooked on espressoh and see what prizes i can get.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

ps i spray painetd my black bery pink and like it is SO sassy!

kiss

2006-01-22T00:38:00.000-05:00

he hit me, and it felt like a kiss
he hit me, but it didn't hurt me
he couldn't stand to hear me say
that i had been with someone new
and when i told him i had been untrue
he hit me, and i was glad
baby won't you stay

xx sally

victoms

2006-01-21T14:05:00.000-05:00

like hi blog,

i was at the mall today with my mon cause she forced me to go shoppinging with her so i killed time on my black bery and like was on some lame chatroom and like you would not belive how disempowered some grrlz are...well like maybe you would , parass hilton is unescapable.

but not her like there was yet another grrrl whos life was in turmoile cause of some stupid boy and wah wah wah so i was like when does it stop, when do grrrls get empowered again and stop giving dumb boys such cntrol over their lives. and like so they other grrls got pissy at me for saying so. what the f? what was their genious advice to the victom you ask,? oh, poor you, watch tv and eat comfort food. like thats not a cure for depression that IS depression.

where did this generashin of cripples come from? i think its too much lifetime, that lame chanel "for women" that says if a man hurts you than you have the right to get hooked on drugs, shoot him, get away with it and then cry because it was 'against the law' and blame the hole thing on a patrichal society and as a bonis prize a hasbeen actress will put on a poney tale and play you on Tv. fuck that!

well ya know what? men are in power because like THEY GET OUT OF BED! like dr. kimberly shaw would say 'no more victoms'! now get out of bed, take a shower cause you wreek of pee and live your life.

i am glad i am not them and i have mary alice as a friend cause we are bi.

xxx sally glass

moving

2006-01-20T16:46:00.000-05:00

so blog,

so like we had to move the meth lab cause my mom was geting suspishus. i came home from school and shes like whats that smell in your room and i was like dont ask me about the smell in my room and i wont ask dad about the smell in your room you anal pyrate! it was funy to see the color drain from her face.

so like we had to shut down the lab for now so we put everything in our sassy silver backpaks and dragged it over to mary alices house. its probably safer over there anyway cause mary alice only lives with her funny uncle and hes locked away in the basement playing with his trains. so like our meth diet is on hold for the weekend anyway cause we cant find anymore stores that sell sudafed aisle 3 cause we cleaned them all out.

going to make espresoh and rethink my wateloss plans for the weekend i am bi

xxx sally glass

mona

2006-01-20T11:27:00.000-05:00

so dear blog,

i am like bored to tears all i have to say is like thank gos for my black berty cause like if i could nt sit here and continyuously peck to you like i dont know what i would do.

like i am in the library at schol and like we have 15 more looong minites until we can go to lunch and like mary aloce is acting weird so they seperated us. like we were just sitting here talking about which of are teahers are fruits and like out of nowhere she just startss faking sex noises at the top of her lungs and i was like nock it off and the libarien came over and was like miss mary alice are you ok and she was like yeah i am just really enjoying this book so he told her to enjoy it on the other side of the libbrary so now im bored...and bi

xxx sally

busy

2006-01-19T16:37:00.000-05:00

like hi dear blog,

so like we are on day two of like making meth and like since like it takes along time to make it mary aloce made us a sassy mix mp3 of songs to make meth to and so heres wat were lisening to:

1. marilin manson - personal jesus
evin if it IS a song about a boy sung by another boy but like its ok cause poor jesus was doomed from the start i mean his mother was a liar his girlfriend was a whore...id end up on sticks too!

2. corntey love - life despite god
this song is sassy cause like crotney lives in the house where the red lights always on and we use only red lites in the met lab, weird huh.

3. alice and chains - dirt
like i know, i know, enough with the dumb boy music but like the singer had so much dope running threw his veins at any given time he could have turned the farmasutical industry on its head but hes dead know so thats like not likely to hapin.

4. beyork - where is the line
like we like beyork but her music is like to fucking distracting, i mean were mixing chemikils here people!!!

so like its not a lot of music but like thats ok cause we have a lot of work to do so like i am glad i paid attention in home eech class so like heres our resipee like we are going to send it to marthas cockbook when we are done too:

sally and marty aliceos recipe for meth:

sudafed (aisle 3)
iodine
liter fluid
old barette
piece of gum

so like the lady at the stupermarkiet wanted to know why we were cleaning them out of sudefed and i said like oh my moms sick and shes like well how sick is she?finally i was like look shes fucking sick so stop wasting my time miss fucking questchins! she rang us up and we went back to work. ia mab bi

xxx sally

meth

2006-01-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

like dear blog,

like guess what! i have set up my own meth lab!

like the health teacher at school showed us one of those 'scare the kids' films about something called meth which i have never heard of but thanks to school i do now! i guess meth is this sassy drug that is the the first step in the three step

lindsee lohan fitniss for life program
step 1: smoke meth
step 2: barf in small bags and hide it in yur closet
step 3: blam eveything on your loser parents

looking refreshed!
i called my doctor and asked him if he could perscibe me this meth business but he hung up on me so off to the internexct i went and it turns out that like meth doesnt come from a doctir it comes from something called a meth lab and like you can make your very own meth lab at home, like sea monkeys!

so like i ordered my chemicils from the online and stolse lots of bekkers from skience class and set up my own lab see

Sally and Mary ALice make meth madness!
i am bi
xxx sally

punk

2006-01-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

like hi diry,

i just got home from school and have to tell you about new song i rote in detention

see like me and mary alice started our own empowered Riggot Grrl band and it is called Dolls Vomit and we almost calld it 'wrapper snapper' like i saw it on the ice cream rtruck and i thought there was a dragon in there and so i was afraid to peek in but its just a hole to throw garbage. why not just call it trash? i guess dolls vomet is not so much a band as it is my on guitar mary aloce on drums and a tape loop of a devo sample but we are sassy.

heart of glass

boys, the toys, that nobody wants

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
oh boys are the toy
that nobodie wants
like christmas morning
the package looks better
underneath the tree

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
my sex toy
is better than a real boy
its doesnt get sick in the bathroom
after its been out all night drinking with its friends

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
boys are the toys
that nobody wants
boys are the toys
paris hilton flaunts
and shes such a whore

i am bi

xxx sally

kitty

2006-01-15T15:26:00.000-05:00

like dear diar,

i finally got my new computir today and like look how impowered it is!

empowring the internot genration!
like i had to throw my old one out because i got like one of those backdoor trojans and i hate those vyruses because like boys make them and like that is the only way a dumb boy fill fuvk me!

so like i spent the afternon loading all my bootleged softwear i got from livewrie and i am i already imported my moms stolen outlook contacts into it so i can pick up where i left off with my great nemsis nancy grace and her syrupee version of simpathy...ach aaach.... ia m bi

xxx sally glass

shakes

2006-01-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

drear diary,

like omg i am going to explode from cafeen cause like i am on a diet and like have not been eating because i gained two pounds since chistmas so like i am on a noneating binge and came up with motivashinal frases to help me be sassier.

Sallys Motivashonal Waitloss Frazes:
1. food is poison
2. god hates fat people
3. happiness is a feeding tube
4. more ribs meens more sass!

so like back to my shaking, like for breakfist i made espresoh and then i ran the espresho back threw the machine with more esprespo and like i am on some other planet but not sure which one. i can hardly peck my black verry. almost time for lunch wich will consit of water and aplle.

i am bi

leRoy

2006-01-09T15:39:00.000-05:00

like dear dirty,

is it really me you ask? well its like not jt leroy and who knows who that is like oh i do i have been on my blakberty all day surfing the web during my inhous detention and like it turns out the like my fav writter is fake.

un-sassy Savanah and Savanah after her glam makeover
like for my iliterot readders like jt leroy is a 20 something year old guy who hides because he had a bitch mom that dragged him around the counrty when he was 12 and she beat him and so he dressed in drag and prostituted himself to the local truckirs who were into cross dressing 12 year oldboys. i guess theres a market for everything so like these kiddy hookers were known as lot lizards and they wore racoon penis bones around their neck and like hung out with shelly anna nickles cousin and like alot of them were bi too. im not making this shit up, read sarah.

so grown up jt wrote all these books about his gay sex sheninigans and jackalope and like he wouldnt talk to people so he hid in the closet cause he had aids and poor him his olny friends were ssassy shirley manson, carrie fisher and courtney love and like the only time this poor recluse would go out was like to swank partyies dressed in over sized liz claiborned clothing and get everything for free. like life sucks.

so it turns out the jt is a figment of some lady larua bush and like one of her husbands step kids named savanah knoop is the person in the wigs and sunglasses though we thought for sure it was jenna i am bi

xxx sally glass

birds

2006-01-07T16:44:00.000-05:00

like hi diarry,

today me and mary alice were in the park and like we were drinking magic punch wich is vodka and capri sun and like fell asleep cause like we had too much magic i think and like i woke up and felt something, no not myself, i felt like someting in my hair and it was a bird! i screamed and stuff and swattid at it but i only got it more tangled and stuff and i thought i was going to die and mary alice woke up and like started swinging a stick at me before it pecked my eyes out and that sucked cause she hit me in the face now i have a red mark and the pijun finally got away and like it took a hunk of hair for its stupid nest or something. i hate nature damn bird i am bi.

tipsy

2006-01-02T10:40:00.000-05:00

dear blog, like happy new year!

so i knoe you are just dying to know what i did for new yeras eve after everyone left my bi makeout party.

so like after we were all done making out which was like 7 minutes because my sassy friends are sucky kissers we stole my moms car and decided to play demolishion derby because she has been such a pagan whore the past few months

so like me marry alice, stacey, lexus and niagra got into the car and like we were only a little drunk and like so we tryed to play demolishion derby with some dumb boy and like he didnt want to play and like look what happened!

i lived

mariaha

2006-01-01T19:33:00.000-05:00

dear dairy,

did you see marih carey last night on dick clark what a heffer! did like someone offer her the diet plan kristy alley used to be on??? its no wonder it was in like time square those are the only monitors in the world shed fit on!!!!

poor pariah she used to be known for her high octain voice then she was known for being Tommy Motorola's bitch and then she made Litter and wass known for nothing.

now shes just looking like a wildabeasst. i wonder if she snacks from one of those jars that despense feed for a quarter i am bi

xxx sassy skinny sally

smoking

2005-12-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

like hi blog

oops i did it again no not marying my backup dancer and getting knockd up i strated anither fire!

so like it was so cold in school today that i didnt like want to standoutside in the ally and smok cause like i found a finger in the aley one time plus the boys are always thinking i am working the alley if you know what i mean

so me and mary alice went into the copy room to smoke and fuck you would not beleieve all of the flamable shit in there i am bi

xxx sally

tree

2005-12-22T18:09:00.000-05:00

hi blog like you would not guess like what happened to me yesterday...ok mabye you would because well im like that

so like my bitch mom finally ungrounded me for painting her christmas tree silver and after she threw it out she said she wouldnt buy anothere one so i called her a pagan whore and threatened to phone in her show and ask her 'deep qustions' about drapes and remodling so she finally gave in and bought a new chustmis tree

so like mary alice and i were watching screwge and like most of the poor people on the show could barely afford legs never mind a tree but there was one poor person who somehow managed to aford a tree and they decorated it with candles instead of light cause well they were poor.

so like mary alice and i thought we would be empowered and like take the poor sterotipe and make it a positive one so we put candles on our tree but fuck look what happened

oh cristmas tree, oh cristmas tree

spa

2005-12-10T15:10:00.000-05:00

like drer diaroy,

this year has like taken its toll on me like all those detentions so like to take my mind of this seasons must have worries i thought i would like go to a spa and have a german woman flog me bamboo and smear me with kelp or sea-scat or whatever that brown mud is made out of.

but like then i saw this picture of crotney getting her anus waxed and that looks like fun though like her i would need a pound of coke first and like i dont do coke i am hyper enogh i am bi

"a little off the top please"

xxx sally

party

2005-12-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

dear dieary,

so like I just got home from the worlds most suck ass party and I had to tell you about it becuase when it comes to vomiting in public llike i learned from the pros like from jersey.

so like this stupid boy from school was throwing a party cause his mom was arestid for drunk driving but whos mom hasn’t. so like momsy was in the slammer and dad was consoling her because the guys in jail thought she wass a tranny because of the cheekbones so like the stupid boy from schol was having a party like free liqor and some crap about top shelf but I didn’t see any so me and mary aloce went and like it was mostly like stupid boys that listened to fred dunst, you know the singer of limp bisckot and the sister of Kristen Dunst and like their music and films suck and that family should just like retire already for fuck sake.

so like there was this girl there from school and her name was kroeesha and she like thinks she black but like the realty is she's whiter than my ass and she really didn’t say anything to anyone except, mm hmm and like give shady looks pivert her head a LOT so I slipped her a ruphe and she finally passed out but like on the toilet so that meant noone else could pee and someone finally woke her and she ended up yacking so we left.

my girl likes to party all the time!
that party sucked so when we got home we just stole booze from my bitch ass moms liqor cabinet and she wasn’t home cause she was tapig one of her stupid house home shows I am bi.

xxx sally

bitches

2005-11-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

dear diaree,

so like mary alice was like assking me who my favoite grrrl bands and like old man admireres i have so many so i narowid it down to like my top 5 bitches that rock.

1. katheline hanna / bakini kill

like bikine kill started the rrriot grrrl revolushin sometime in the early 90's or something we can't remember that was so long ago. they are from olympia, seattle and like that is the home of grunge, starbucks and heroin. they got there name because the singer like only wore bikinins even in the winter what a weirdo...

bikine kills lead singer tobi (not to be confused with tobi from romie and michele although they look similar) started the band after her attempt at fanzine publishing never caught on and like its not because she didn't give it her best it was because she wrote it in crayon and it was like to hard to read. dummy.

bikine kill proved that you didn't need any musical experience, training, vocal range, talent and stuff to be empowered and inspiring. they have united grrrlz around the globe and encouriged them to put down there dolls and like pick up guitars and stuff and sing about incest and act like they are twelve just like they do they are bi

2. theos / lunachiks

Light as a feather stiff as a board! Like the Lunachicks could kick L7's ass anyday...and like just about anyones ass now that i think about it.

they are like from new york city and stuff and they are super punk rock. they mix and mingle with the toilet boys, (another sassy band from new york with a super vixen grrrl singer), make underground films and sometimes the sassy singer theo gets naughty in jersey hotels with her boyfriend and takes a camera crew with them!

all of their songs are under 4 minutes and like that is cool cause our attention span is just about the same.my favorite song is "light AS A Feather" and like we think it is about that stupid movie "The Craft" with Nimbus Cambell where they put on too much black makeup and think that makes them witches. Please. So does that make us Mathew Perry when i steal prescriptions?

3. tori amus / herself

Tori Amos is sorta intense and stuff and like she doesn't even play guitar she plays piano and like grrrlz to so i think she is bi like me and mary alic.

toris writhes around on her piano bench singing about cornflakes and throwing stupid boys into volcanos. What a sassy job! Plus she smacked John Norris from Mtv one night cause he said that Madonna was cooler then she was and she call him a sod and they started wrestling. something similar happed with bijork once too but it was in an airport and John Norris wasn't there.

although tori really doesn't fall under the rrrigot grrrl catagory she is a cool artist and stuff even if her hair is not real. iam just like glad that she is not on 90210 and stuff anymore cause that show was so gay and they were 30 pretending to be like 16 and stuff...ugh.

4. Debby Harry / Blondie

everyone from Madossa to Courntey Love to Qwen Steffanie owe Debby Harry a big thank you. like to quote Sangra Bernhard, brielfy, without her, they would be nothing!

Blondie is the original sassy grrrl. She bleached her hair all the time and they named the band after her, not the other people in the band, the boys, and she wore shirts with no pants on stage like mary Alice does for her funny uncle and sang songs about stalkers and the spahn ranch. Atomic!

Like Blondie is so empowered that like she even caught the attention of mass killer ted bundy cause she was a cross over artist and like he tried to stuff her in his volkswagon. but she punched him in the face and got away. dumb boy.

5. pj harvey / self

PJ Harvey is like Jim morrison but unlike him who is like dead and stuff she is very much alive, she just sorta sounds a little dead.

PJ Harvey is from Mineeapolis and, suprise! she was never a girl friend of Prince! Not many grrrlz know about her and like her songs. She writes about 50 foot woman killing boys and snakes that make her moan in the garden of eden. She like ieven opened up for U2! and despite wat rumors you have heard there no realation to harby weinsteen.

She did like a photography book once and the whole thing is just like pictures of her floating in famous rivers like the nille and the thammes and stuff dressed like Opheelia. Hope she had leach repellant.

rehab

2005-11-20T21:54:00.000-05:00

like dear diay,

i was just reading on like gogle news that like crotney is out of rahab and like that is cool and like while she was in there she wrote a new albim and that is so empowered.

crotney love: all bettr now!
it was just like the time that I had to go to the hospital for an overdose from too many martinis well actually it was from too much olive brine cause mary aloce dared me I wouldnt drink all of the martini olive brine from the gallon jar but i showed her. i showed her so well that my sodium levels spiked and i had to go to the hospital to get my stomick pumped but no it wass an outpatient clinic i think. but i am empowered like couty because when i got home i wrote a poem about it.

stupid olive
stupid and green
red in between
lost in a sodium dream
tripping too much
all out of luck
nothing left to write about
strawberry fields forevrer

i am bi sally xxx

crab

2005-11-13T15:15:00.000-05:00

like dia dear dey,

so like we didnt do much this weekend other than wach movies and prank call that fake journalist sorta drag queen nancy grace.

so we watched the new exorcist which was like really just the old exorcist with the devils head flashing on stuff. like i thought that regan was tonya harding but mary aloice said that tonya wasnt born then yet and that she was blair from fact of life. one of the new seens was Regan walking down the stares like a crab which sounds sassy but dont try to do it cause i did and I fell down the stairs and i am sore now.

xxx sally glass

dont try youll just fall

exorcist

2005-11-11T14:55:00.000-05:00

like hi logg,

like i am home from school thankfuly and like nt soon enoufgh. so i got into this huge fight with alexandria this grrrl in school today cause she was tryying to tell me that Avril Laveen is more punk rock than Cortny love and it's like please her name is april and she cant even spell it! just because you wear a wife beater tshrt with a tie (?) and say fuck a lot doesnt make you a punk it makes you an asshole.

so like onthe way home from school me and mary alouice stoped at block bust and rented some scary movies to wach over the weekend. like we rented the new exorcist which couldnt be any worse than that lame movie we saw last weeknd called dahmer and it was about jeffrey dahmer the gay serial killer. like it was the most boiring movie in the world! like you really have to be a sucky film maker to make a boring moveie about a gay serial killer who drilled holes into peoples heads tomake sex zombies only to eat them later for snacks...what the f'?

i am bi

xxx sally

about

2005-11-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

dear blog,

like i thought all my reeders would like to know some like things about me so here are some things:

like who: sally glass
age: under 17
location PA
favrit food: ephedrine
favroute color: silver
favorite band: Hole/crotheny love, kitty, Traci Lords
favorit movie: Georgia
favorit grrl: anna nickle smith
favorite boy: like tom boys
favorit agnimal: the grinch
favorit mmost importint female: marlin mansin
favorite Sweetner: Equil
favorite hair color: blond
favorite smell: fear from boys!
favorite state: unconciousness
favorite web Site: hmmm sallyglass.com
favorite talkshow host: Nancy Glass of course!
favorite friend: Mary Aloce!

tada

2005-11-05T21:42:00.000-05:00

Dear Diaros,

like i am so happy and stuff that my new blog is up and it looks so cool don't you think? good, me too!

like it was a lot of work and stuff and not only do i have to draw but i have to learn HMYL that secret web site writing code that was invented by the kgb and it was a top secret language that was invented in case there was a war or something and this way people could comunicate through web pages. sassy, i know!

so like all my cartoons are sassy and stuff and if i can say so my self portrait is so empowered and it is like frito kahlo when she would paint her self with a stash and stuff she was bi just like me.

anyway so like soon i am going to have a store where you can like get sassy fetus fairy t shirts and stuff and how fun is that! also like there is going to be a place where you can send postcards to friends or enemies like dumb boys and like that is cool and like one more thing i stole a bunch of cocktail napkins from my dads bar and like i have drawn all these dirty pictures on them so like i can sell them to girls that are bi like me and i bet i will make lots more online friends and stuff!

xxx sassy sally!